Friday, August 04, 2006

Como fazer pra não broxar

Não, eu não sou mágico, nem faço comércio ilegal de Viagra. Alguém digitou a frase que dá título a este texto e acabou caindo no meu blog. Isso porque, em um post anterior, está digitada a palavra “broxar”.

Para não perder o leitor, e atrair outros, resolvi me passar por psicólogo ou confidente, e tentar ajudar, mesmo que apenas com palavras e clichês.

Para não broxar, meu caro, tú tens que estar com uma mulher inteligente. É o primeiro requisito. Ela não precisa entender de física quântica ou ter lido Nietszche, Voltaire ou Hegel. Apesar de que uma boa dose de cultura é necessária. Afinal, você não quer conversar com uma porta, certo? E se a dita cuja não tiver nada na caixola, complica. Quando ela disser que o último livro que ela leu foi no colégio, aí sim, você vai broxar.

Mas ela precisa ter um outro tipo de inteligência também. Inteligência lasciva, compreende? Ela precisa saber te conduzir, e conduzir as preliminares. Porque, pelo visto, você não está lá com muito jeito para a coisa.

Tens também que escolher uma mulher vaidosa para ser tua parceira na cama. Mas não aquela mulher que exagera na vaidade, que demora uma hora - ou mais - para se vestir. A vaidade a qual me refiro é a seguinte: a de ela querer te deixar maluco, meu caro. De ela querer te proporcionar a maior foda de tua vida. Para você depois dizer “essa foi a melhor foda de minha vida, benzinho”. E, é claro, de se vestir bem, mas de forma simples, de estar cheirosa, e com uma inspirada lingierie.

Mas a mulher, sozinha, não resolve a tua situação. Você precisa ficar tranquilo, rapaz! Não pode ficar se cobrando demais. Viu o que aconteceu com o Ronaldinho Gaúcho na copa, não viu? Ele broxou. Porque esperavam demais dele. Então, mantenha a calma, pois o time ganha jogando em conjunto.

Outra coisa: não queira resolver tudo em dez minutos. Não se trata apenas de empurrar a bola pra dentro do gol. Há de se armar o time taticamente, planejar as jogadas, trabalhar a bola, fazer o trajeto defesa/meio-campo/ataque. Mas sem firula, sem firula…

Recomendo também que você manere no álcool. Se for beber, beba, mas não muito. Senão, não tem jeito mesmo.

Ah, e por último: goste da mulher. Sinta amor por ela. Com amor, você não broxa nem com a Bruxa do 71. É claro que, se ela for bonita, melhor ainda. Mas o fundamental é o sentimento. De nada adianta você pagar 1 milhão de dólares por uma noite com um monumento recheado de silicone: se não houver nada que “acenda a chama”, que levante o teu bilau, pra ser mais direto, tú vais broxar mesmo.

Mas é claro que tú podes ignorar tudo o que eu disse aqui e simplesmente comprar um Viagra e pagar uma mulher qualquer para satisfazer tuas vontades.

Seja lá qual for a tua escolha, boa sorte!


Rafael Rodrigues

10 Comments:

At Monday, August 07, 2006 11:33:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Que sutileza de conselhos. Nada mais do que eu esperava de um Canvalheiro.

 
At Monday, August 07, 2006 8:41:00 PM , Blogger 3 Vozes said...

hahahuauhauhauhaha valeu pelo comentário. senti uma ponta de ironia ou foi só impressão minha? kkkkkkk

 
At Friday, February 09, 2007 6:46:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

pra não broxar, o Ponto G do cérebro tem que ser estimulado.
só isso.

bacci

Claudia

 
At Thursday, November 22, 2012 6:45:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

We accommodate all kinds of high property s that come in a variety of styles,[url=http://www.weddinghow.net]cheap wedding dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.safeandsoon.com/]cheap wedding dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.dresswomen.net]affordable wedding dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.dresswomen.net]prom dresses[/url]
[url=http://www.sexydress4prom.com]cheap prom dresses[/url]
colors and sizes at wholesale price.All are cheap with up to date styles associating apparels including designer wedding tear someone off a strip, beach coalescence dresses, connubial gowns, bridesmaids dresses, prom outfits, cream young lady dresses & shelter dresses.Even we can supply the services of open size customization and loose plus gauge Shop affordable amazing compounding dresses at this very moment!enjoy searing shopping, put on one's sunday best clothes to the letter looking for the notable nuptials with the facilitate of G-marry bridal.


http://www.discountpartydress.com

 
At Wednesday, December 19, 2012 1:48:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.navorrobowmanjersey.com/]NaVorro Bowman Jersey[/url]

People grow by growing together You were fortunate to discover these as your energy blockages or bumpers as you called them Just simply by saying YES or No! How come? Your circumstances and direction in life are dependent on that YES or NO choice that you take and you will live according to that decisionWhen you are born, there is one source of thoughts, your soul, spirit, higher self, God, whatever you choose to call it

[url=http://www.mikeditkajersey.com/]Women's Mike Ditka Jersey[/url]

Get the details about the product, as well as the merchant's refund and return policies, before you buy In time the small amount of water in a pearl's make-up is lost and its surface cracks By not using the proper tools, or the proper software to do some things, you are often loosing countless hours each months and this lost time could have been used to grow your business! Think about it : is there something you could improve today with the use of the proper tool?3" (Revelations 6:9-11) 6

[url=http://www.frankgorejersey.net/]Frank Gore Jersey[/url]

 
At Saturday, December 22, 2012 6:14:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.seekingbestbags.co.uk/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] Very little else. Will not change bedding or clear the cage except it's a dire unexpected emergency (these kinds of like a water bottle leaks and wets a sizable part with the housing place. In case the bedding gets wet, it can grow to be moldy and unsanitary which might also upset the mom hamster and result in her to not become a excellent mom to her litter.

[b][url=http://www.uggsoutletsite.co.uk/]ugg outlet[/url][/b] Brand administration is a bit more crucial than ever before in a modern society which includes now increased accustomed for the world-wide-web becoming readily available almost any place by way of wise telephones and tablets. Recently, managing your brand has gone outside of the standard key phrase searches and Research Engine Optimization (Search engine optimisation) techniques, and it has steadily moved into social press. Cultural media platforms are getting breeding grounds for both equally constructive and negative comments and if utilized thoroughly, they could be a significant aspect of your respective internet marketing program..

[b][url=http://www.cheapuggbootsukwebsite.co.uk/]cheap ugg boots[/url][/b] A property company blog can get paid you a snug dwelling offered you've initially primarily based it upon precise industry research facts. When your site has become released you're now during the blog growth stages of the website. For the duration of this time it is actually essential you keep publish fresh new site entries with appropriate and practical facts to catch the attention of visitors to your web page.

[b][url=http://www.cheapuggbootsonlinesales.co.uk/]ugg boots cheap[/url][/b] In the phrases of the Spice Women, in case you wanna get with me, you gotta get with my buddies. Emily only contains a handful of buddies (who say things like "Just be by yourself and all the things will fall into place" yeah, all right, it is nationwide tv) and her individual sweet lady, Ricki, but what ever. Emily wants a man who just isn't afraid of possessing pleasurable, which is the reason she forces all her future buddies to fight it out through a group date aided by the Muppets! So what's to the agenda? A efficiency with Pass up Piggy herself, AKA Emily's arch nemesis..

[b][url=http://www.seekingbestbags.co.uk/]www.seekingbestbags.co.uk[/url][/b] Fashionable in Damier canvas, this Papillon bag features the wonderful round condition. Golden brass pieces add a touch of classic to the totality. So it is absolutely the classic purse which might keep you fashionable for many years to come. Usually referred to as the North's unofficial funds, Leeds is usually a entertaining put. It's got got a historic population of virtually 450,000. Moreover to its numerous people, Leeds also attracts many small business travellers and vacationers.

 
At Wednesday, December 26, 2012 11:01:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

he was feeling no trace of pain at all!Nancy remembered this story vividly and hope began to rise in her that God could also intervene and save the life of her husband The people who believe in themselves and their ability are the ones who have lasting success in their lives00 per 10 oz
Leaving him unrestrained or unattended Locke said no animal could think or communicate and that this is what separated man from beast at some point in his development Joint Ventures - Find a few other eBusiness owners who target similar markets and see if you can build an alliance and do some sort of a joint project together

 
At Sunday, December 30, 2012 5:16:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]online casinos[/url] hinder the latest [url=http://www.casinolasvegass.com/]online casino[/url] unshackled no set aside reward at the chief [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]free casino games
[/url].

 
At Wednesday, January 23, 2013 10:48:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

We [url=http://www.casinovisa.com]blackjack online[/url] have a large library of totally unsolicited casino games championing you to monkey tricks opportunely here in your browser. Whether you want to unaccustomed a provender recreation scenario or honest examine out a insufficient original slots once playing on the side of legitimate money, we procure you covered. These are the exacting same games that you can engage at true online casinos and you can part of them all for free.

 
At Friday, February 08, 2013 1:10:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.001casino.com/]free casino[/url] coincide the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino[/url] unshackled no set aside bonus at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]baywatchcasino
[/url].

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home